Productive Worry

Let’s start with a simple fact - we all worry about a lot of things.

Am I in the right profession?

Are we going to hit our revenue goals?

How am I going to afford college for my kids?

How am I going to get healthy?

Do other people respect me?

The list of worries can and does go on and on.  Worrying is a part of life and for good reason.  Worrying is part of our nature.  The thoughts and feelings that worrying produces within us is what ensured that we would find food for ourselves and avoid dangerous predators.  Worrying is what pushes us to prepare for the future.

But too much worrying can be problematic.

In fact, excessive worrying is a fundamental aspect of anxiety and its related disorders, which have been steadily increasing in the population over the last several years.  People experiencing an excessive level of worry fixate on the future and all of its possible negative events - and the anticipation of those negative possibilities can become debilitating.

So how can we manage to worry enough to get things done without going down a rabbit hole of rumination?

The answer is simple and it involves distinguishing between what can be considered “productive worry” versus “unproductive worry.”

Unproductive worrying occurs when we spend our time worrying about things way off in the future that are out of our control.  For example, the worry listed above - “How am I going to afford to pay for college for my kids?”

This specific concern is important.  If you plan to have children or have them already and college is an aspiration you have for them, then thinking about how you are going to pay for it is entirely normal and expected.  But dwelling on that version of the thought is not going to help you.

Instead, we want to engage in productive worry, which is when we transform a far off concern into something that we can take action on today.

Using our example, you might start by rephrasing the question for yourself:

What can I do today to start planning for my kids to go to college?

Immediately, your mind will snap back into problem-solving mode and start throwing out ideas.  You could open a savings account, reach out to that financial advisor you’ve been meaning to connect with, look up what the average costs of college are, talk to your partner about whether college is going to be a priority, etc.

There is no single choice you can make in this moment that would instantly enable you to afford college for your kids.  Or lose 20lbs.  Or learn the guitar.  Nothing works that way and so worrying as if that were possible will only lead to disappoint and despair.

Life is a collection of choices.  Actions and reactions.  The best you can ever do is try and make the better choice in each moment on a consistent basis.  

So don’t waste your time trying to avoid worrying - just worry productively and take a small action today that will prepare you to achieve what you want in the future.

What do you find yourself worrying about most often?  

How can you change that worry into something you can take a small action on today?

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