Where Beliefs Come From

Whether you know it or not, what you believe - about yourself and about the world - dictates a great deal about what you choose to do.

If you believe yourself to be a hard worker, then you will likely work hard.

If you believe yourself to be an athlete, then you will likely exercise regularly.

If you believe yourself to be a good presenter, then you will likely present confidently.

And, perhaps unsurprisingly, this is a self-reinforcing cycle.

The more you do those things, the more you will believe in yourself.

The more good presentations you give, the more you believe you are a good presenter.

The more you exercise, the more you believe you are an athlete.

The more you consistently work hard, the more you believe you are a hard worker.

It’s simple and powerful.

Over the last couple of weeks, we’ve explored this through the lens of identity and forming habits, using Atomic Habits and other texts as a guide.

But what about your underlying beliefs?  Where do they come from?

Google defines a belief as “an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.”

For example, a statement might be “if you work hard, you will succeed.”

If you accept that statement to be true, then you hold that as a “belief.”

And once you hold a belief, your actions take shape around it.

So if you believe that working hard leads to success - and success is something you want - then you will work hard to get it.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you will succeed - it just means that you believe hard work is what will get you there.

A personal example might be that you believe you are “bad with directions.”

And because you hold that belief, you always use GPS whenever going anywhere.

Regardless of how big or small a belief is, they shape our decisions.

This is why it is powerful to understand where beliefs come from.

And it starts with your memories.

Memories are just recollections of things that have happened to us or around us - and that we can recall images or sounds or other aspects of in our minds.

The first time you rode a bike or went on a date.

The time you brought home a pet or took a job.

The time you embarrassed yourself… :)

And we obviously have collective memories as well.

Your team winning a championship.

Your family going through a hardship or holiday.

The world experiencing a global pandemic.

When you recall these things, your mind pieces together aspects of the experience to help you reimagine it.

The purpose of memories are to help us learn from past experiences.

The brain uses our memories to prepare us for what we might encounter in the future - which is where beliefs come into play.

Memories form into a belief when we assign a meaning to them.

If you take a wrong turn, you might decide that it means you are bad with directions.

If your partner says something nice about your new red shirt, you might decide that it means they find red attractive on you.

If you skip going to the gym for a few days, you might decide that it means you are a lazy piece of sh*t.

Our minds take memories and use them to make statements about what might be true about us and the world.

And every memory you have that aligns with that statement - every time you missed a turn or went the wrong way - is stacked on top of one another as evidence that this belief must be true.

But that doesn’t make them true.

Our memories are imperfect and selective - so you can’t automatically trust them.

They are naturally good at telling a story - but not at building a case.

For example, maybe you have 4 separate memories of you missing a turn while driving over the last 3 years, leading to the belief that you are “bad with directions.”

But consider how many places you have driven and turns you have made over those 3 years.  I imagine it is quite a lot.

You have probably driven so much that 4 mistakes wouldn’t even come close to 1% of the total.

The reality is that you are actually totally fine with directions when you consider all of the evidence.

But our minds don’t consider all of the evidence - and we often forget to as well.

You want to know why things happen so that the world becomes more predictable and makes sense.

So you create beliefs to guide and protect yourself.

Just remember - beliefs also are what limits you.

If you want to think about yourself differently, examine the memories you replay most often - and what beliefs they support in your mind.

If you want to build a new belief, start with thinking about existing memories that support it - and then go add to that evidence by making new ones.

What beliefs do you hold about yourself?  

What memories are they based on?

If you took a step back and considered all of the evidence, would that belief still hold true?

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