Your Self Concept

One of the most consistent mental battles we face on a daily basis revolves around how we compare ourselves and our performance today to the ideal version of ourselves that we believe we could and should become.

In the past, we have looked at the concept of our ‘future self’ and explored ways to start getting ourselves there.

But today, I want to focus on how we see ourselves.

Who are you?

If someone were to ask you that question, you might start by answering with some nouns - brother, son, partner, coach, teacher, entrepreneur, etc.

You might then go further and throw in some adjectives - curious, passionate, hardworking, generous, driven, funny, etc.

With more prodding, you may even dive into some beliefs you hold or cultures you grew up in.

Taken all together, these roles, characteristics, skills, and beliefs make up what psychologists refer to as your self-concept.

Why is your self-concept important?

How we feel about ourselves each day determines how we perform in our personal and professional lives.

And how we feel about ourselves each day comes down to understanding our self-concept.

While there are a variety of different ways to breakdown the self-concept, I have found Brian Tracy’s simple version from his book Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life to be particularly helpful and practical.

Tracy breaks down the self-concept into three components: self-image, self-ideal, and self-esteem.

Our self-ideal is pretty straightforward.  It is who we believe we are capable of being and are trying to become.  It is the “best” (read: idealized) version of ourselves.

Our self-image is how we see ourselves today.  As he puts it, our self-image is our “inner mirror” - our assessment of our qualities, roles, and skills at the present time.  

Finally, our self-esteem is how much we like ourselves.  Self-esteem is our “reactor core” - it is the emotional component where our inspiration and energy comes from.  

The more we like ourselves, the more confidence we have.

So how do these three pieces fit together?

In Tracy’s framework, our self-image is constantly comparing itself to our self-ideal.  Any time we take actions or make decisions that are not aligned to our self-ideal, our self-esteem goes down.

“Whenever you do or say something that is not in keeping with your ideals or the best of which you feel you are capable, your self-esteem goes down."

But the opposite is also true.  Any time we do or say something that is in keeping with our ideals, our self-esteem goes up.

This is a simple, but incredibly powerful idea - and it helps explain a lot about the emotional swings we experience each day.

"The more you like yourself, the more you make your decisions based on your own goals and standards, and the less you care what others think or say."

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